Monster Cookies

Let’s be honest. I am no food blogger. I am too excited about eating my concoctions to stop and take nice photos. As curses go, it could be much worse.

BUT, today, despite their hideousness, I feel compelled to share my latest baking adventure.

After all, it’s okay if Monster cookies are a little, well, monstrous.

Let’s start with the ingredients.

Think you’ve got the idea? You don’t know the half of it yet.

Raw, the dough tastes like a really gooey peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Baked, they transform it into the melty, softness of angel’s pillows and lazy Sunday afternoons.

Protein, fibre and fruit are all involved too, so you’d be forgiven for substituting them for lunch. and breakfast.

… okay. I lied. Jam isn’t a fruit. Except in my head. Though, you could add fruit if you wanted. These bad boys can take anything.

This recipe makes around 6 dozen cookies. It’s technically a half batch of the original recipe handed down from my elders, but the full whack is a serious undertaking.

I don’t take that kind of kitchen committment lightly, but they are the perfect care package contestant: made with tons of love and tons of sugar. And with that many cookies in the house, I don’t feel bad eating one or two before they make it into the box.

Besides, six dozen cookies this intense could kill someone. And that’s no kind of gift at all.

Monster Cookies


2cbrown sugar

2c granulated sugar

1&1/2lbs peanut butter (crunchy or creamy)

1/2c butter milk

3/4c jam (any flavour you like!)

1/6c molasses or black treacle (though corn syrup would do in a pinch)

6 eggs

1c flour

9c oats

4 tsp baking soda

1&1/2tsp salt

1/2lb m&ms (I mixed plain and peanut)

1/2lb chocolate chips

1c mixed nuts (any you like will do, I’ve used cashews and almonds)


First, get a really big bowl. I’m talking big. This dough is dangerously close to punch-bowl territory.

In your fittingly monstrous bowl, blend the peanut butter and sugars. Mix in the jam, molasses and buttermilk. Beat in the eggs until you have a carmely batter.

In a separate bowl, mix together the flour, oats, salt and baking soda. A cup or two at a time, fold the dry into the wet until you’ve got a stiff  dough (try not to break your spatula).

Along with your last scoops of the dry mixture, fold in the nuts, chocolate, m&ms and the kitchen sink. Cover in clingfilm and leave in the fridge for anywhere from 1- 48 hours.

Preheat the oven to 180C. Lightly flour a baking sheet (or twelve). Space heaped tablespoons of dough evenly on your sheets. Bake for 10-14 minutes, depending on the size of your cookies*. You’ll know they are done when the edges are firm and golden brown.

Leave to cool on the sheet for 5 minutes, then place on a wire rack. It’s okay if they are still a bit sticky on the bottom, just put them face down on the rack.

* I spoon the dough into balls roughly the size of a small nectarine. They take about 15 minutes to bake and the cookies end up being almost the size of a slice of bread. The recipe makes about 5 dozen of these.

One Response to “Monster Cookies”
  1. throckmorzog says:

    the happiest food on earth-


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