bigger things

After a long bout of illness, my mind is regaining some of its pep. 

Predictably, there is a magnetic draw back to things undone and promises made. 

But there is this liminal space before I’m quite back up to full speed where bigger, wilder aspirations peep from my horizon.

Where things I want to be and wish I was matter just as much as things on my current to do list. 

And I’m striving to make space for them before the window closes. 

I think I mentioned before my new daily check list. It’s been an excellent way to carve habits mindful of myself. But it is so openended, and purposely so; I am quite off the hook for the day if I “Write Something” or “Speak Up”, even if it’s not about the big things and specific works I’m afraid to admit to wanting.

This morning I read this chap’s ideas about  investing in yourself. I rather like it. 

It reminded me in some ways of my Thirty Things. I was glad to have tangible truths in my sights. Glad I was putting in the hours on things that mattered to me, and gladder still to look back at it now, years later, and find it still rings true in my core. Not only am I glad I did it, but proud I could hear myself through the din.

I’m so looking forward to Lent. Other than a firm belief in forgiveness and second chances, the only remnant of my once-Catholicism is this annual tradition of change and abstinence. 

This year we are doing without television for six weeks. I’m buying space for those bigger, braver things. A few hours here and there can go along way. And for once I know where I’m going, I just need time to draw up the map. 


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