California Dreaming

Do you ever have these vivid little childhood memories pop back into existence?  Never anything drastic or exciting, but those deeply human moments where the world turns differently or the sky is out of focus and life grows. For some reason, tonight, I thought of my first trip to California. When I was small, not … Continue reading

Wellness

I am sitting in the doctor’s office. The first time in a few years. Not because anything is wrong. I’m just getting to a place where I care about preventative care and wellbeing. So to the physical I go.  Perhaps it’s the onslaught of family illness and diagnoses. That’s certainly part of it. One’s own … Continue reading

Wisdom of the Day

Life is too short for pens that don’t work and clothes that don’t fit right.  Be gone, unreliable fiends. 

Living Beautifully

A year ago, I was uncertainly stepping into a new job. After floundering and soul searching and asking the darkness big questions (and finding myself even more afraid of the answers), I set myself a task.  Over the course of several weeks, I paid attention. To what brought me joy, certainly, but also what brought … Continue reading

Moving Season

It’s moving season in Chicago. Every leafy side street is full of U-hauls and hatchbacks. Alley stairwells everywhere echo with stuck sofas and clanging bed frames.  Although the sticky heat is a terrible time for hauling box springs and arm chairs, 40-below and in 2-feet of unplowed snow is infinitely worse, I imagine.  Around here … Continue reading

White coat hypertension. 

 I recently went to the doctor for the first time since coming to America.  It was, by and large, the same as going to the doctor in Britain: dated banquet hall chairs in the waiting room, bustling nurses, typing doctors, surprisingly old fashioned scales. But the dynamic of the thing felt different than I remember … Continue reading

Diving In

Once upon a time I had a life I no longer loved and I ditched it. I ditched its ass hard. Great, wondrous things came of that flying leap into god-knows-what. Or rather, great, wondrous voids descended in quick succession and over many years, and in them I continued to find myself huddled in the … Continue reading

Do What You Love

In this new life, still shiny-pink and small, I want to be mindful. Mindful of who I am and what I want. Mindful of where are headed and where I came from. Mindful of what drives me and makes life worth living. To that end, I am undertaking some personal DIY.   First, I am … Continue reading

Hello, world

Once a month I have a night or two of insomnia. Despite a double-dose of painkillers my aches crunch on, dulled but unabated, and so I am left to ponder the world in a quietude all my own. I’ve come to enjoy the peaceful time, the botherings aside, and consider it a small space where … Continue reading